stepping in the new face of life!!

As ma 3rd terms were coming near, i m getting close to ma all the Friends. In our class there was a surbhi sabharwal, who was becoming totta day by day and i was getting attracted towards her. As i sit with her the vibrations went through mas body and i get the cureent of 220 volt. I get so seduce as i sit with her.., that sometime it was so difficult to be in L.O.C(line of cantrol). At the same time, at ma home side i was getting into Delhi's company and getting more tharki day by day.. In few days i got to know that, if i have to get framed in ma group, i have to do something extra ordinary. Soon i got chance, ma frnd had messed up with somebody, and they called me up. I used to be very fattu at that time, and jut collecting the dare inside me. But i thought that this is the good chance, don't leave it. I got up and gone there, and just with trembling hand, and heart beating with 10 times faster, i took his collar off and gave him a pucnch. All were looking at me, like wtf, he did it..??? Even for seconds, i haven't believed ma self.., but at the end i dis it and got framed in ma group. Though ma group, was not so awesome, but at starting everything is fine. Then i met ANKIT SINGH, who lives at our street, and was our neighbour too. He studies in ST. FRANCIS PUBLIC SCHOOL. At starting i was very jealous from him, because he had it's own attitude, he was smart too, and never comes down to play with us. I thought that this guy was having so much, that he even didn't wanna play with us. He used to keep talking to MINNI D  about the English songs who was also our neighbour. So i decided to be in there touch and just listened ma first English song- " I TAKE YOU TO CANDY SHOP- 50 CENTS" . I was very happy, and went to them" Hey d!, hey bro! ssup??? Whtz goin on?'' they replied "Nothing just talking about new song of 50 cent". Then with excitement "Ohh!! Really i also heard a new song of it CANDY SHOP". They laughed and said  laughing "Ha Ha!! It was not the new one, its very old poor boy" I felt ashamed, and got out of there. At home i felt insulted and decided not to go to them at any cost. A few dayz past and then an incident happened, by which me and ankit became good friends. Then at home side our friendship is becoming more n more perfect as we both used to be together.., mostly in JUNIOR bhaia ki car or with MINNI d ka saath.... Now at school, i was becoming very close to surbhi n used to put hands on her shoulder, thigh..., and......, (COMMON DON'T LAUGH, FOR 8TH CLASS STUDENT ITZZ LIKE AWESOME FEELING...) But i have to concentrate on ma studies also and on ma crush as well, manisha. So i get back to ma group and asked ma frnzz.., "Oye! yashasvi, yaar surbhi is damn hot as manisha.., and i wanna both of them temme what to do..??" Yash after thinking.... " So dude there is not a problem, you can have both of them in your arms.." First i thought that he was joking.., but then i came to know he was serious.., so i asked surprisingly.."What the f.., man it cant be possible, how i can be with two of them together, first think and then speak". Then he replied in very superior manner as he had degree in flirt.." See sahil, you are a kid at this stage also. You can flirt with both of them, and can have them at different time, by just escaping from there eyezz." I was really confused at that time and scratching ma head like a dumb. (itz not ma mistake guyz,i was very innocent at that time). Yas back with order tone "You don't worry buddy, see i am also doing the same with vidhu and shefali. So you can also do it.." He encouraged me, and then i was filled by confidence and went to surbhi and proposed her indirectly. "Surbhi! Suppose i love you, and proposed you then what will you be your answer??" She was shocked "WHAT? Are you crazy". "No i am not at all crazy, i m just saying to suppose sweetie". Then after so much thinking and using her useless brain, she replied "I"ll say yes to you as you are ma very good and close to heart friend". I was very glad to hear that, and in excitement " I proposed her in stupid manner "So i m proposing you, say yes now". She again got shocked by a sudden proposal, but its not that it was the first one.She said "I'll tell ya tomorrow, i have to think first." (this is all galz dialogs, you know if they love you, want you, then also, they will show there so called attitude, because they want  a high importance from your side). "OK!", i replied with sad tone and went back to the group. "Guyz she will refuse ma proposal." "But why??", they asked in anxiety.. "She said that I'll think and then tell you." They stared at me, like they gonna eat me boiled only. "Dude! She is a girl and will take time, you don't know about these girls kyaa??" said yashsvi. "Oh! Really??" i asked scratching ma head. "Yep! Buddy! It's true, these girls will love you, but never show or give answer on the spot. I know them very well, after all i m handling 2 hottest chicks at the same time." he said royally. I also thought that he was rite as he was having two hot chicks, shefali and akansha with him, and kisses them on alternate dayzz."OK..", i said and went for lunch in interval. As i approached home, i told ankit about all this stuff, in the evening, when we were ready for cricket. "Cool man! So finally you have your first girl in??" , he asked bowling. "Nopes! It's not that surely. Still she have to give answer..". "OH!! Common man, these girls take there time, and will say yes to you tomorrow surely."he again said, picking up the ball. (these Buddy's are acting like, they are love guru and done degree in 8th class itself, and having 100s of gals in there love account.) I haven't said anything and went home. That night, i just thought about her and cant get asleep. As it was first time with me, so i m in deep thoughts, taking dreams of her in the night. Now as i woke up for school, i was very excited. i got ready in a minute and ran to school in a hurry. There i just wait for her on the gate.., keeping ma eyes open widely. Then she entered in the class and smiled seeing me. I just got the feeling that ma friends were rite, as ma mum also used to say "sahil patla ho jaega na to ldkio ki line lag jaegi....". I moved towards her and asked"So.., what you thought??" "I'll tell you after interval" she made the statement. At lunch again i asked "Now, can you please give me the answer??" She turned to me and said in very soft voice.."Sahil look, i cant be your g.f., we are too young for all this, and after all we are good friends, and will be" she left putting me in deep thoughts. I just stayed there for a while still and then went to ma group "Le lo!! What you all are sain that, bai galzz take time, and will say yes afterwards..??? Just fuck off man!!!", i said and went away. But it doesn't hurt me at all, as it was not a real propose to her ad after all ma crush was manisha. I moved on from there and concentrated to ma studies. But one day surbhi was at ma home. I was shocked to see her there in ma house."What the 'f'?? What are you doing here???", i shouted.      "I just came to ma cousins house, who live in your neighbourhood, and also a Friend of your sis. I just taught that you felt sad that day, and came to say you sorry." Lot of things went off ma mind. Was she really saing sorry to me??, or just playing a prank?? And if she really felt sorry then, there was something in her heart for me..., a soft corner.?? The whole mug of questions drawn over me.., but then i just said to ma self (sahil thuka hua maal dubara ni chaatna) itz about your prestige, don't say yes to her.. I just passed by her and not cared about her. I went to ankit to tell about all this, he just sat there and first examined mine choice. Then he exclaimed "Kya maal h yaar.!!! Mast mal ptaya h tune to.." "Nopes dude!! She refused ma proposal. She just came to say sorry  for that thing, BUT I HAVEN'T LISTENED TO HER." I said sadly.. "It's OK yaar! This happens, and BTW your crush is manisha not her". "I know that, but....." I pause for a while and ten again..,"she seduces me dude!!" "Chl, leave it!!" Then the days passed and she continue coming there and visit my home as well. She just trying to get close to my relatives, but i keep ignoring her. Then, my 3rd term came finally.., and i was all prepared to beat all of them for 2nd rank, as the first rank is always occupied by manisha. But 1 month before, manisha's paa got expired. She just got shocked, even we too. She had not came school for U.T. and then for 3 weeks.. Our group decided to go to her house to console her. But i couldnt went there for some of the reason. Her percentage depleted automatically as she had not given her U.T. So she cant be first now. I was feeling very sad for her, but at the same time i was happy also that i could achieve 1st rank also. Atlast, xamz came and our group was concentrated on studies. We all gave xamz and on the last day i  said "Guyz! I may leave the school and would not continue the next session." They all were got amazed. Yash asked amazingly " why?? Whatz the problem dude??? Why you gonna leave the school ?" "Nothing yaar i have to change it, u know i don't like this school, but i got the friends like you and don't wanna leave it." i replied. "So?? Why you leaving it?? If you want us to be together??" "Itz not like that, i also don't wanna leave you but my maama is insisting me. They will admit me in NEW DELHI PUBLIC SCHOOL. This school is far better than our's and they have some sources there,so there might be some concession." i explained. "Ok!! We can't help it out??" yash asked. "NOPES!! Itz not in our hands.." i explained again. then we left. On the day of our result nobody met each other, as BHANU had not scored well, ankit(school's friend) got scolded by his mum n dad, yash as usual got average  marks. But when i stepped inside, and turned towards the board, i just started jumping with joy. I got 88.65%, and got 2nd rank.(at that time, i was feeling above all, the king man) I collected ma mark sheet with congratulate wishes of  ma class teacher. My friends were also happy for me, but BHANU was as usual jealous, and seing ma answer sheets again and again, trying to find some way or the other to make ma marks lesser. Then we got school off for few dayz before new session. in this period of time, surbhi went to punjab, i lost contact with manisha, ma maama was all setup for the new school. But the most important thing, now i dont wanna leave this school, because i dont wanna leave ma friends and at the other hand ankit got admission in HILTON'S SCHOOL in DEHRADOON. He was going to boarding. that was the part, when i was feeling like a hell. All ma friends were getting away from me. Ma best pal ankit was going to doon, although, he was very excited for his new hostel life. Then our new sessiion started for few dayz i went ot ma old school only and each day i pray to god that, please i dont wanna leave this school. Please let ma admission not be done there. But god thought something else for me. At last day we all had huge hugs, but nobody cried. Then i went off from there.At the same time ankit was going doon..., and i just said "Kyu jaa rha h abe???? Mat jaa bhench......". He hugged me and said "Dude! I have to go. I don't wanna live here and wanna enjoy hostel life too". At that time we both went to the past and reminded our best movements..(though there were not many, as we both are not such a good friends at that time) junior baia's car there woofer and we sat behind in full voice. Our tears came out at that time...., etc. He also left after that. I felt all alone again and thought that now there was nobody with whom i could enjoy.Now i have to go to new school.Finally the day came, and i went school first time.., NDPS.. . I entered in school and ask a teacher at reception, "Good morning mam! Can u please tell me, where is 9th A?". "YES! First floor, last corner" "THANK YOU very much!", i left then. I found that in not more then 2 minutes and reached at ma class door and asked "SIR! May i come in?" "yes". The whole of the class was staring at me with wide opened eyes as, i was the only rose in between of so many cactus. I got in and sat at first bench with the student named VAIBHAV SIROHI..
    Now,as i took late admission in that school.., the 1st monthly test were going on at that time. I just put down ma bag aside.., and smiled luking at vaibhav he had not smiled in reply though. Then with the eager on his face he asked me, "DUDE! Are you studious..??? How many you got in your 8th standard...???" I humbled, "YEP! you can say that litlbit.., and got 88.60% in ma 8th std with 2nd position." He just lifted up then, n whispered.."Buddy! Today is our maths U.T. can u help me out.., by telling me some questions..??" "Nope..,i can't, don't know the single one..!" i exclaimed laughingly...  "HEY! But you said that you got 2nd position in 8th std...??" "YEP! But dude.., this is 9th.., and i haven't even watched the cover of books.." "OHKK!!" He again got low.., as he did not know how to score more then 12 in maths... Then i got introduced with some other buddyzz of ma class.., and firstly got in the group of kapil and amandeep. The guyz are not so cool.., but it was ma 1st day so it doesn't matter that much... 1st day went ok.., n we got back home. Now there was a new story.., our friend circle was splitting.., ankit went to hostel.., ma school was changed.., so no school friendz anymore.., but there was one thing.... JAYATI. The Friends, they were crazy about JAYATI.., as i dont know anything about all this.., i thought that it would be fun and joined them... We began doing this at every evening.., and jayati also stood up there, in balcony at that time. It was the time kidz were growing... But this process is only of few dayz.., as we got scolded from our guardians.Ma school was going good, as i have a group of three., yogesh, kevin n me. We call it "SKY", n just enjoy allot. Yogesh is a compholic man.., and Kevin is cricketholic, n me studyholic.  As time passes, i got more involved in school, and start enjoying ma life a little. After few months, Kevin got lost from our group, and gone to the athletics one. At that time ma best friend was yogesh.., and i trust him the most. But then after our final examz, we were good Friends with vaibhav. OH..!! I forgot to tel you about vaibhav..??

letz have a short introduction.."vaibhav sirohi, from bulandshahr, lost his father when he was of 7yearz, studying in this school from 7th and lilt SANKI type of" .

On the day, when we have to receive our terrible mark sheets, we all were together, and reached there with our parents. Our nerves are shivering.., the blood is running like a tsunami in our body, we all wanna be 1st ranker, we all have that drop of sweat were driving through the breakrz of our head.. At last, i gone to ma class teacher.." GOOD MORNING MISS!" "GOODMORNING SAHIL!, how are you??" "I am   absolutely fine, but bit nervous.." MISS said "Don't be nervous you scored 92% and got 1st in your section". I haven't believed her for a while, and snatch ma mark sheet from her hands. But when i watched it from  ma eyes, then i got really exciting, at that time yogi and vaibhav went back with there parents. Vaibhav got 2nd and kevin 3rd, yogi got 4th place.But i was very happy at that time, as well as ma maama n maami. MA science teacher called me u p and said, "Sahil, you are the first one , who got 90 above marks from me.., congrats!" "Thanx allot mam!" i replied in tribute....
Ma maama bought sweets for us n that too ma favourite.."kaajukatli". My grandfather also got happy when he heard this good news. I went to ankit's house and gave her mom this news with sweets..

That was awesome.....

the vanished chidhood

SEPTEMBER, 2004....
It was september and i left kota and went to delhi. As my maama hav some sources i got admission in the middle of the session..,though it was not a best of schoools , but it hardly matters when there is no option left.
Ma sis and i got the admission in same school, where my cousins are already studying. As days past, i am getting more frustated and upset from my life.. The diffrences started occuring, i was a kid and i felt that these diffrences should not be done with me and ma sis and ma cousins.. At the starting i got lots of days at which i only cried.., and just keep remembring ma mum.., you can think a child  who didnt left her mum for a sec.., would have what feeling at that time... I became a frustated kid who had lost his childhood , and also having a sister behind him.., who hardly knows that what a big thing happened to her..  I just started to abuse with maama n maami.., and started feeling lonely..
but as time passed i was getting used to it..., but i was alwazz there for my sis.., and wanna see her happy.
Ma as well as ma sis's childhood vanished, all the branded clothes which we used to wear had turned  out in ordinary ones..., we used to use the latest thing in trend , was ruined in a cloth per 2 mnth buying...,but i won't say that there was maama or maami's fault.., in there family 2 more family members added now..and they are also a middle class family..., so have to go acoording to that...
At first ma sis became so matured.., and just suffostacated..  I was so worried about but itz our circumstances...
Anywaz soon we both adjusted in the school, but at home itz becoming more difficult day by day.. Once dinner was ready and i just got there as maami called me.."Sahil take your dinner".., i went there and just saw a DAAL, which i donnt like at all..., i cried"I won't eat this one". As our mother cook the food which we both eat happpily and know our likes and dislikes very well(as mom is only the person who knows you very well), we dont have the habbit tyo eat the food which we don't like. Then maami said."You have to eat what is cooking., you are not special" and then i have no option left other then eating. I ate the food but cried more than that. At those days i just keep cursing the god alot.., and became a non-follower of him.I was quite intelligent at that time., as i belong to education city kota.. So i just taken interest in studies right from the beginning. I  just challenged the toppers of the class from the first day, as x-ams were about to start and i have to complete ma work also.., and whith no use of any sense of mine i just challenged them. X-AMS came and i got 77% at that time in 7th class.., which was not accepted by me at any cost..The class toppers laughed at me and insulted me. But i never lost hopes.., it was 8th now.., i m with the most happening group of the class, which have all the members included in it..,PADAKU, NALAYAK, MAST, OR HARAAMI, and we used to enjoy alot. We were back benchers and keep the teachers on there toes always..... With those frnds life is seeming little-bit easy.. At that time i used to be very fatty, i lost ma weight in six months and became sleeky guy.. It's not because i worked out so hard., it's because there no more mum's love and no more happiness in ma lif.. But i just tried to liv ma lif again as i hav no other option left.. At that time i used to think that people say that god do all the things for your goodness, "but what good he will do by taking ma mum and dad away from me...".  But anyways, after becoming sleeky.., i used to luk more handsome. And then all the girls are just started taking interest in me.
But ma concentration is on studies this time., and FIRST TERM strated and i just ranked third in those X-AMS.. Now all toppers became red as tomato.., and became concious..(do not underestimate anybody).
Then as i counted in the toppers, ma class teacher appointed me as a monitor, with MANISHA the girl, i got ma first crush on, though m in 8th that time.., but it doesnt matter as love has no age. I was very happy at that time that being a monitor i would spent more time with her. But ma friends, who hav the 2nd importance in ma life after ma sis., i gave them more time. They used to tease me alot with manisha's name.., and i got shy. Now 2nd terms came, this time i got competition from 4 persons, from which 3 were of my group, so i have to be above of all those. Manisha was a top ranker, then payal was 2nd one.., and i got the third place.., again. As ma fast friend got 5th, i felt bad for him, but he just got more jealous from me and left talking with me. I havn't bothered thst as it is human nature.... Once we are at backbenchers n our KHADUS Preeti mam, hindi teacher entered.."Goodmorning class" she roared.. "Goodmorning mam" we replied frightenedly. "Take out your books, and start writing" she ordered like a hitler. As we are backbenchers, itz our duty , not to follow her. So we didn't. She got busy with her work and our group got split in gossipping section. As i am busy talking to ma frnd and taking tips for manisha, she saw me busy talking and called me up" You there come out with your copy". I was shocked and stasrting thinking what to do, then i used very old one"Sorry mam". But she continue "No comeout". I just got out with ma copy. "Show me your work, i know you havn't completed it yet" she cried. At this timne i love to be quite intelligent as i completed ma work, so i went to her with full confidence and stood still (like roaring comeon you hitler wanna fight, now u gonna loose it). As she put up the scale to beat me up, i stopped her "Mam first see that  wheather ma work is complete or not".
She snathched ma copy and began turning pages.........., then saurprised and said "You completed your work". Her eyes became as large as 10rs coin. She put her scale down staring at me as, she love me as her dinner.. Whole of the  class began laughing.. Her face was gone whole red like a pig.. At the same time the conditions in the home were not getting better. The conflicts between me n mami were reaching at the peak as the days are passing. So, i began spending ma time out of house morem, rather than to be in house and let ma brain be cooked up. At the first day i got out of ma house, to make freinds there. They were playing cricket, and all are small then me in age. But, i used to be very shy and coward, at that time..
So, i asked hesisating "Can i play with you". After all it was DELHI,  n i was from kota. They think for a while, and said "Ok, but you can be unpire only". I felt littlebit of  guilty, that these kidds are maikng me umpire, but then i think that it is suiting ma personality, as i was so fatty. So i agreed. After few days they became frank, and i just joined there group. And then a new stage of life had started.

At the starting of ma lif

I am starting from the beginning, when we take our senses at right place , to sense the things around us.

IN 2002....
I was studying in 3rd and was quiet intelligent.., at that time. On 14 feb ma father met with a small accident and got little-bit injured.. He had HEMOPHOBIA  he has to take some rest.. Day after i came frm scl .., it was friday.., n he was at home only.., so he said."today i will cook the food for both of you (me and ma sis)". We both were excited after listening that.. Then he went into kitchen n cooked some delicious recipies, for us. We enjoyed that day alot.., with mum n paa... Day after tomorrow on 16th feb me n ma sis went to school. Ma mother was havin fever.., so we both got up without making any nonsense.. and went to school as per schedule...
When i was back after school.., my mother is sitting in dinning room and ma paa was lying in bedroom. My mother asked our maid to call paa for lunch.., she went to call him. After a minute she came back crying.,"MEMSAAB he is not speaking anything and lying on bed still". We got up and ran inside. But it was too late for us.., ma paa was died.. We all got a big shock..
Ma mother keep on crying , not believing that he was not more.. We took him to the doctor for a little hope., but nothing couold change now...
We just broken down..., and called up all relatives..Then they all begin crying and just keep consoling ma mother... A big cyclone of sadness is paasing through n i m a little-bit aware of that.. After few dazz i felt my paa absence.., i cried alot.., bcause now there is noone with whom we could enjoy.., who bring choc. for us.., who took us to market for golgappe..Ma sis felt more absence of ma paa, because she was more close to him and my mother also faced a lot of things in this world...
But with the breeze of time all of the things were becoming normal , back to place.
After that my mother used to tell me everything and share everthing about everybody..., that which person is rite n which one is wrong. She used to say that "u both are my jaan , i'll never leave you alone".
I was very close to my mom.., n never leave her for a second. Now we learnt how to live without ma paa and just began our life leavinf that nitmare behind......
IN 2004...
It was my b'day on 8th august.., and all the relatives are there n all of my frnzz also.... At that time period my mother complaint about the pain in stomach.., twice or thrice.. Then she went to doctor for checkup.. It was found that she was having stone in her goldbladder.., and need an operation.. We suggested that it was a normal operation and good to be done. So on 2nd sept., after a day of ma sis bday(1 sept), we went for an operation. Mum called up mama n mami , bua and tauji at the time of operation. The operation was done on 4th sept successfully.., and she had to be discharged the day after. Next day when the reports came, then we came to knw that she is having some problem still... and had to be in hospital for few days more.. On 7th sept doctors said to us " There are some test which cant be held here, so you should take her to delhi for the tests and everything is normal oderwise." We agreed and took off to delhi at the same night.., as she is having problem and geting fat day by day. So all the elders suggested to go by road and took a taxi. Next morning , we reached there, at my naanaji's residence. I slept straight away after reaching. But when i wake up, i had seen the doctor and all the relatives in tensed mood. I asked "What happened maama?" Mama replied "Nothing wrong , doctor is just checking her." It was 9 am in the morning and i was realisied that something is serious. Suddenly doctor said "She is very serious, you should take her to the hospital immediately "
I got so worried and began crying. They called up AMBULANCE and took her to the AIIMS. But it was too late, she had died on the way itself. As i got this news.., i just broke down and got so much shocked that for a while i felt unconcious and fallen down. But at the same time i saw ma sweet little sis SMARTY , n just got concious to be with her.. At that time i hated god very much.., i just refused to worship him. I was in 7th at that time and ma sis was in 2nd .., i just thaught that why god had done this to us??
But, again itz life and we have to live it. My maama n naana want to take us to delhi with them n ma bua n tauji wanted us to continue our studies in kota itself, as it was middle of the session. I also wanna go with them.....
It's all set they applied my job application in my mum's office, and i gave my house keys to my bua, as there were people living on a rent.
At that time i was going through a confusing state.., as my bua and tauji want me to live here(in kota) and ma maama and naana want me there(in delhi) .., but ma bua and tauji were saying that we were put them in a hostel and continue there studies in the same school.. I never wanna go to hostel.., so i decided to go to delhi , atleast there we would be in the home itself...